Feeling so stressed

Just got back from training,a long-winded and tiring day~

At first I was just thinking of spending my time with more meaningful activities, and to get my time passed easier, I've really never expected this job would put on so much pressures on me~I'm dying on suffocation!!! Nevertheless, for the sake of $$$, and the promise I've made to them, I have to take it even it's against my will~

寻“工”记~

My ever 1st time to be sitting at a cafe and chatting non-stop with someone for 7 hours! UNBELIEVABLE~ had our breakfast & lunch at the same place without leaving the seats!It's sooooooo happy to chat with u~^^ you let me found out myself like to gossip so muchXD

By the way, Lee Yiet Lai,I have underestimated your capacity of talking!XD

Our original plan was to seek for jobs to get our holidays stuffed full with endless works.Coz if I'm still not willing to step out from house and find something to do, I may get melancholia sooner or later~and the most important thing is, after being gone through few times insanely shopping,my money left with 7788 ady~:(

Went to CITC department in TARC enquiry for vacancy for temporary assistants, Overall, I'm quite satisfied with the job, reasonable pay(RM 5 per hour), comfortable working environment, relaxing works~When I was about to apply for that job,who knows they asked us to be continue working when adv.dip starts~although just have to work for part time, but we are 100 times unwillingly to risk our adv.dip on working,so we decided to turn it down~

We have asked for many other jobs too,but all seems having no respond~No wonder ppl say "wan sik gan nan"~haih~So, anyone who see this and has nice recommendations pls kindly leave your way of contact here~:p

keep going!!!

Last whole day I was so busy revising and practising on MYOB,after done an assignment with my groupmate, I summore redo all the textbook practices over and over again,who knows today it ended up like a piece of shit!:( haih~who ask me so excited and over-confident leh? Once gan jeong,everything screwed up! Hopefully wen the result comes out,that piece of shit wont be too shit for me:(

Life is so,no matter how bad today was,you stil have to keep going in life,and hardly pray for a better tmr~and pray that even you are destinied to meet a piece of shit tmr,u can stil find a little sweet out of that shit:)

I'm going to graduate from my diploma soon,all sorts of feelings well up in my heart all of a sudden~ Time always passes without us realizing it...Recalling the 1st few semester,my life was so miserable,that I can't even bear to recall it...
I skipped classes,I cheated in the exams,I played computer games n watch tv at the night be4 exam,I even missed out my coursework test that nearly made me being expelled from the college,I was once being so wilful,can you all believe that? Can't find a friend that can talk to,I was being so alone all day,and everynite covered myself under the blanket and cried loudly,can you all imagine that?

Fortunately, all these have passed~Although it made me suffered a lot,I feel thankful for all these experiences that made up a new me~ I believe that God will never put us in a situation where we can't handle it,so no matter how bad it is,as long as with faith,we can always overcome it~

Without u,I'm like without hands and legs~

I had never expected I would bother you at this critical moment still~
Why do things always happened when you're not around? why can't even I manage a small matter by myself? foolish me~

I was pampered and cherished by u so well all along,but this time u left me so panic,maybe it's ur intention to let me grow up~

If I'm allowed to do so,I would rather hide under ur shade forever,but it's so mean of putting loads of burdens on someone that u cared so much,and you watch it helplessly~

have been so tired of taking care of me huh? now it should be my turn:)

i've gotta be strong!!!

I have been sickkk for 2 weeks more...2 weeks more!!! i promised to myself i would NEVER NEVER NEVER make myself fall sick again!!! becoz I would NEVER NEVER NEVER wana live this kind of life anymore!!!

At 1st leg got scalded, rested at home for whole week, I've missed out so many classes and appointments...ok fine~after 1 week wen i could start walking a little bit, duno it's becoz of my wound got infected or my mum spreaded her sickness to me, I fell sick again---high fever+bodyache+sore throat+coughing+flu~ what the xxx!!! rested for few days, wen my fever started to be brought down, and i felt a little bit relieved, here it goes again----gastric pain!!!!!

Doctor said it was becoz I've taken too much of medicine( i tink at least got 10-20 types of med),even the doctor oso not sure I was allergic to which kind of medicine,so ended up my gastric couldn't bear it anymore and decided to go on strike. Even so, the doctor still gave me medicine for gastric-.-!!!. I felt like vomitting so muchhh~but hardly vomit out anything!!!
It was so so so awfulllllllllll!!!!!

*Finish complaining*

The next day, which is today, i felt much better for my stomach ady, but i still don't have much strength. I really really wish this is the ever last time, becoz I don't know whether my body still able to withstand another impact before it collapse~

Now I sincerely prayed to the God: Plss don't let me fall sick again, pls let me stay healthy and I promised I would always take good care of myself, AMEN~

体验

生命的意义, 就是要从每个考验,经历和挫折, 得到启示, 然后成长...

虽然我不敢肯定 "每个问题都有解决的办法" 这个说法, 可是当我们遇到困境时, 也只有抱着这个想法, 我们才更有找到出路的希望...

所以, 我感谢每个来到我生命的困境, 才能得以使我成长, 才不会让我的生命如此平淡乏味,才不会辜负以及浪费了父母与上天赐予我的生命...

今天走错了的路, 在我生命里可能只不过是一件微不足道的事, 更重要的是, 它让我得到了用钱也买不到的经历...

之前我还一直埋怨我的生活过得很不如意, 甚至想放弃, 其实我身边一直都有疼爱我的人, 我有一个虽然表面上只会骂我, 却其实很关心我的妈妈, 我有一个表面上对我的事不理不睬, 但其实当我出了事, 最紧张的就是他的男朋友, 我有一班虽然不常见面, 但发生了什么事情, 她们都不会责怪我, 还对我不离不弃的朋友...

珍惜一切, 才能使生命更有意义...

你是我唯一想寻找的感动...

真的很意料不到,今天的比赛,我们竟然得了第一名...
我们的组员都很用心，这是我们努力的成果^^

在我上场表演之前，你打了好几次电话给我，可是我都因为在忙着准备，没有接到你的电话，害你傻傻地站在太阳底下等我，真的好心痛，对不起～

在出场之前，你很调皮地在后面拍拍我的肩膀，然后跟我说"加油"^^...
其实我想说，你一句简单的鼓励，已经很令我感动...

比赛结束后，我和一大班朋友一起去庆祝，虽然那两个钟头过得很快，但我的心还是一直想着在学校的你...

我一直心急着回学校找你，谁知道塞车，我的心情更是紧张得不得了...
一踏进校门口，就飞箭似地跑去找你...终于在篮球场上的座凳找到了你，一个人坐着低着头...
那一刻，我有个冲动，想跑过去紧紧地抱着你...
我找不到比看到你更幸福的事...

虽然只是和你吃吃饭，逛逛街，做些平常人做的事，我的心情却是如此地兴奋...
你的眼神，你的笑容，你的一切，还有你对我说的每一句话，都像蜜蜂填满巢穴，甜甜而深深地，填满我内心的每一个缺口...

我爱你，永远都不想再失去你...

你是我在这个世界上，唯一想寻找的感动...

-

很想逃离这个沉闷的生活，污浊的空气，闷热的天气, 冷漠的脸孔...
我好像已经很就没有跟任何人谈过心事了，不知道是自己变懒惰了，还是人们习惯善忘...
身边根本没有一个人可以让我依赖，真正能让我依赖的，却常常不在我身边...

这就是我的人生吗？注定孤独一辈子...

自私

25/10/2008 雨天
第一次品尝到这种，心痛的滋味，如果你的目的是想要报复，你做到了…

这是你第一次对我发脾气。

电话筒传来的声音，是多么地冷酷，除了冷漠和不耐烦，没有其他的感情。握着听筒，我根本无法控制手的颤抖，还有那止不住的眼泪，我的心，根本无法腾出一秒钟的时间去思考到底在发生什么事情, 眼前的这个人，究竟是不是那个我一直深爱着的人？

你跟我说，你对我的容忍已经到了极限，什么时候，我竟然变成了你的容忍？

我以为你懂我，在我最需要你的时候，你竟然可以这样对我？

你说你要自由，我给了你很多压力…我忍受地听着，不想出任何一句话，或许我说再多也没用…感情变了就是变了，爱你的时候可以说出一千个爱你的理由，不爱你的时候，可以说出一千句伤害你的话…

我已经尽了我最大的努力，给你想要的空间，一星期不到十分之一的时间，算多吗？
如果你要的是一个完全不需要依赖的女生，我想你找错人了…


我以为你爱我，愿意为我分担我内心的痛苦，可是你自私地选择了，放弃我…

～孤单的感觉是，当你发现，你认为最懂你的人，原来是最不懂你的人…

等待

22/10/2008
星期三 雨天
又下雨了，如果说天气是我的心情写照，那晴天要多久才会出现，我的心，要多久才能停止悲伤…

我究竟什么时候才能清醒，什么时候才能坚强，什么时候才能停止哭泣…
我的心，虽然还继续跳动，可是我已经开始感到隐隐作痛，我就快没有力气支撑下去了…

如果现在有一瓶毒药放在我面前，我会毫不犹豫的喝下去…

也许你会觉得我懦弱，我不知道该怎么说，也说不出，请不要用对一般人的标准来对待我 ，是的 ，我就是比一般人懦弱，没有用的失败者…

今天过得很漫长，我等了整个晚上的电话，其实我根本没睡，只是不想让你为了急着回家打给我，你说你快回到家了，回到家后会立刻打给我，那时候的我真的很兴奋,拿着电话不舍得离开手,然后计算着你大概会用多久时间回到家，然后慢慢回忆我们曾经一起做过的事，傻笑，时不时看看电话的时钟，每过一分一秒我都会安慰自己就快听到你的声音了，就算是几分钟也好…这是我一整天最期待的时刻…

时间过了很久，你并没有打给我，兴奋的心也慢慢地冷却下来，然后失望，难过，流泪…

你告诉我你的电话坏了，你赶着出去和家人吃饭，我不怪你，我知道你不想的…
你就是这样，永远有忙不完的事情，而我唯一能做的，就是一直等待…
你曾经说过，我的过度依赖让你觉得很累,
我也很想说，你让我的等待，也让我觉得好累好累…